When discussing counseling from a biblical perspective, one question often mentioned is: "What are your thoughts about female counselors counseling males?" or "Is it biblical for female counselors to work with male counselees?" Sometimes, depending on the audience involved, the discussions surrounding this subject could get lively as each person shares their perspective about how they feel concerning these specific questions.
In the area of counseling, biblically, as it is popularly presented, one perspective appears to be a prohibition for female counselors to guide and advise males in the counseling process. One such article, after referencing First Timothy 2:11-14 made the following point.
Women who serve as counselors in the church are providing spiritual insight; they are teaching men biblical truths and holding them accountable to fulfill biblical mandates. They are ruling over their counselee in an authoritative manner. In my interpretation and application of this passage, this would be a violation of Paul’s instructions to women because they have authority over their counselee and are instructing their counselee in biblical truths within the local church. The Apostle Paul is emphasizing definite role distinctions that are timeless and are commands for all Christians to obey. Women should not be in any position of authority in the local church that would resemble the Pastoral role of shepherding men.
Ellen, V. (2012) Should women counsel men? Retreived from https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/
Others seeking to provide a counterpoint to the above view write that in certain situations, it may be permissble for a woman to counsel a man, especially if the man desires to receive understanding from the perspective of the female as noted below:
There are many situations where men seeking counsel from women will be more effective. This list is far from exhaustive but situations would include: a husband wanting to understand the hurt from his wife when he hasn’t been able to grasp it communicated by her, a pastor wanting to care well for a female victim of abuse, a single man struggling to understand why his pursuit in dating has been ineffective, a widowed or divorced father wanting to understand the struggles of his daughter, or a man who was abused by a male figure and the intimidation from being counseled by a man hinders his progress.
Hambrick, B. (2020). I am grateful for my female counselors. Retrieved from https://bradhambrick.com/femalecounselors/
Regarding counseling biblically, does First Timothy 2:11-14 prohibit female counselors from working with male counselees? This article will explore the statement Paul wrote to Timothy and then note six points that should be considered in this conversation of women counseling men.
In First Timothy 2:11-14 Paul wrote the following instructions to Timothy:
Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.
The general context of the passage concerns the character of men and women who are in Christ (i.e., believers) and the instructions that Paul gave to Timothy to communicate to those whom Timothy was teaching. Paul began with the men and how their character ought to be among one another (c.f., First Timothy 2:1-8). Paul then turned his attention to the women and began with a Greek adverb hōsautōs, which means "in the same manner or way." (or translated "likewise" in the NASB). The use of this adverb underscored that Paul is continuing to discuss the aspect of a person's character. Paul mentioned that a woman ought not to be known only for her external beauty and adornments (i.e., braided hair, pearls, or costly clothes) but ought to be recognized by her good works (which, by the way, every believer ought to be known for (c.f., Second Timothy 3:15-16)). Paul continued that a "woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness." This statement, based upon the use of the preposition en within the Greek sentence (which can be translated as "in quietness"), is not merely discussing a woman's actions of being silent but the woman's character (or state of being) when they learn.
Then we come to the Greek word translated as "submissiveness." What does this word mean? The Greek word is uποταγn (hypotage) and occurs four times in the Greek Scriptures. This specific word is also a noun that describes a person, place, thing, or quality of a thing. The Greek word translated as "submissiveness" once more highlights the woman's attitude toward learning (or receiving instruction). In other words, hypotage does not describe the woman as being subjugated or subservient to men. This Greek word underscores that the woman in Christ, by her own will, voluntarily recognizes that the information she receives from the elder who is teaching properly is for her welfare.
Paul then mentioned he did not allow (or permit) a woman to teach or have authority over a man but to remain silent. Once more, Paul, in the context, is not making a case for a lack of ability or inferiority with women but instructs that the character of learning of a woman in Christ ought to be motivated by the knowledge of not only the created order but to avoid the lies that existed within the culture that erode this order. Paul used the same Greek preposition en used in verse 11 (i.e., "in quietness") and reminded Paul that Adam was created (lit. "shaped") first, and then Eve (c.f., Genesis 2:5-7 & 21-23). Paul reminded Timothy that Eve was deceived by false information from the serpent that sought to pervert the ordered reality and the character that God had established. In summary, Paul used Eve as a warning to the women in this culture that there were false doctrines within that culture that, if received, would be against God's established order.
The last statement of Paul continued to discuss the benefits the women have from being "in quietness" motivated by acknowledging the order and avoiding the false instruction in the region that sought to undermine that order and, ultimately, their character. Women, if they continued in the doctrines of God they knew (i.e., "faith"), the love they had by understanding the information from God they knew ("i.e., love), recognized they have been sanctified in Christ (i.e., "sanctity"), and keeping a consistent focus on the information from God they knew ("soundness of mind"), and recognize their personal uniqueness as women in bearing children, then they would be saved (sozo) from the information that sought to deceive them, and ultimately misalign them from the character God desires them to have as women in Christ.
The main focus of these statements is that Paul is addressing male and female believers and their character amongst one another. It would seem from the overall context that there were possibly doctrines (i.e., information) in that culture that threatened the order of God concerning women and their disposition when taking in information (seemingly from the elders, which is explained in the following chapter of Paul's letter). Based upon these observations from First Timothy 2:11-14 these statements are not (and the author will argue cannot) applicable in terms of women counselors guiding and advising men for several reasons described below:
Counseling as a paid vocation in the present day: Compared to Paul and Timothy's time, counseling was not a means of employment. However, today, many male and female believers work in this vocation outside the meeting place of the local church. In his next thought, Paul continued in his letter to Timothy, addressing how elders and deacons ought to operate when they gather together (c.f., First Timothy 3:1-13). However, it is difficult to address a modern vocation of counseling with this specific text because counseling as a means of employment did not exist in the culture and history of the period when Paul was writing to Timothy.
The primary vocational context of the counselor ought to be considered: A counselee who recognizes a pastor or elder who counsels from the biblical worldview as a counselor is a normal association because the counselor operates primarily as a leader in the local church. However, it is extremely rare that a counselor who counsels from a biblical perspective and describes themselves as a counselor is perceived as a pastor or elder by the counselee. In the context of Timothy's letter, it is presumed that the people already recognized those who teach and instruct as pastors (or elders). Counselees who go to counselors may make the association that the counselor functions as a pastor if this is this person's primary function in the local church. However, it is unlikely that a male counselee will make the association that a female counselor they are counseling operates as a pastor (or elder) if they work primarily as a counselor.
Counseling biblically may be associated with the pastors (or elders); however, counseling biblically is not exclusive to pastors or elders. Counseling biblically has everything to do with a counselor's philosophy and how they guide and advise counselees with and from their philosophy. It is true that biblical counseling can occur with pastors or elders within the local church. However, counseling biblically is not exclusively reserved for pastors or elders within the local church. A woman counselor who cannot function as a pastor or elder but operates as a counselor outside the local church cannot be held to the statement from Paul in First Timothy because teaching and authority in Paul's letter has to do with the pastor (elders), and deacons described in the following chapter.
The counselee's preference when working with a counselor ought to be considered: One of the people who gets left out of this conversation is the counselee and their personal preference to the type of counselor they want to see. Based on the counselee's history, presenting problems, or other factors, some men may prefer to have a female counselor. In this case, the counselor may want to honor that counselee's choice and find a female counselor willing to work with them.
Truth when counseling biblically is universal, irrespective of gender: A woman counselor who operates under the biblical philosophy is able to counsel a male counselee because biblical wisdom applies to everyone in the world. For example, a woman working with a man who suffers from depression can ask the same questions as they would a female, gather the same understanding, and offer the same interventions and truth to guide and advise the man's depression as they would with a woman whom they were counseling.
The preference of the female counselor who counsels men ought not to be immediately evaluated as "anti-biblical": If a female who counsels from a biblical worldview counsels men as her vocation (or even her ministry), this is permissible (insofar that her character as a counselor aligns with Scripture). Many counselors have many different preferences when guiding counselees. Some counselors prefer to counsel children or young adults. Other counselors prefer to counsel married couples, and some male counselors may choose to have a counseling partner to assist them when working with female counselors. There are even some women who only prefer to work with women counselees. If a man seeking counseling is willing to be counseled by a woman, and the woman counselor obliges, this is not a violation of First Timothy 2:11-14.
It can be appreciated that those who make the case that women can only counsel women advocate this position with the best intentions, wanting to preserve the created order between males and females and highlight the unique qualities between the sexes. However, based upon an evaluation of First Timothy 2:11-14, the author submits that this text cannot be used as a principle prohibiting women from counseling men. Instead, the preference of the counselor and the counselee ought to be considered in the counseling process. Ultimately, when it comes to counseling biblically, God's universal wisdom can be given in many contexts-counselors who endorse a biblical perspective working with counselees inside of the local church, and counselors who have a biblical worldview who counsel outside the walls of where the local church gathers. Both are important and necessary.
Until next time...
Soli Deo Gloria!
Dr. LS
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